I’m trying to figure out why we really went to Thailand.
My soul craves to return to my spiritual home a lot. Major changes in my life have always occurred during or after a visit to Thailand.
On my first trip in 99, I was a completely different person to who I am now. I was a mess. If you can talk about finding yourself, then Thailand was the place I found myself.
I landed on Railey’s Bay and had an experience with a group of strangers that lasted for 5 days. The biggest 5 days of my life. They made me stop hating myself and I started to blossom.
I’ll never forget one evening when I felt the Universe shift as it spoke so clearly to me.
I turned to my friend. “I know what I want to do with my life. I want to write.”
It was such a strong urge. I started writing straight away, a book that still sits unfinished. Fear and insecurity set in and I stopped. (Double butt kick coming up!!) 13 years later after a lot of hard lessons, I’m writing
Thailand saved my life.
I pay attention when my soul calls to return.
Going back this past month happened so easily I knew it was meant to be. Except, everything seemed to go wrong. No, it didn’t go wrong, I just didn’t enjoy it as much as I was hoping.
That doesn’t mean I wasn’t meant to be there, just maybe for reasons I was not expecting.
My love for Thailand certainly hasn’t changed; it is as solid as matter. But it was different and unexpected. I am left to uncover why I felt so disconnected and why we really went.
This is what I have come up with so far, the rest I know the Universe will show me when the time is right.
My travel style has changed
I am no longer the backpacker I thought I was, nor do I want to be, not with children anyway. It is far too stressful with Savannah being a toddler.
She requires far too much attention and in Thailand it enhances your anxiety and fear. Craig and I were planning on doing a long term trip through South East Asia. No more.
At least not until the toddler legs have settled, we are off the bottle, out of the nappies, and do not have to rely on naps and prams. We are now focused on road trips in either Australia, US or Europe.
Is stability what I want?
This trip really showed me how tired of travel I am. Actually not of the travel, but the instability of it.
I still want the travel, I can’t ever give that up, it’s like willingly handing over an arm, but I do want a little more stability. I want to find my home and I want the means to be able to leave that for the next adventure when I want.
How to make millions anyone?
I don’t want to live in Phuket Thailand
Craig and I were considering a relocation to Phuket, but not any more. It is far too westernized, busy and expensive. I don’t want to move to Thailand for western life, I want it for Thai style. I’d love to move to Bangkok, but I don’t think it is a wise move with kids.
So it has either squashed my desire to live in Thailand, or it I still have to find the right place.
I’m dissatisfied, frustrated and not fulfilling my potential
Frustration surrounded me on our trip to Thailand and has since returning. I’ve realized I am quite dissatisfied with my life in many areas. I’m stuck mostly because of fear. I’m not doing what I need to do, mostly surrounding my fear of a lack of money.
This is such a difficult limiting belief for me to smash through. I never worried about money a few years back and it flowed freely to me. And then I lost my sanity, made stupid decisions and blew my safe, investments. It has paralyzed me.
I’m frustrated that my living conditions aren’t what I want and I am overly frustrated that the time I want to work on my business keeps getting taken away. I feel a lot of the time it is out of my hands, but I need to quit this excuse and work it out. The travel side to what we do implicates this a lot!! But, it’s part of what we do.
Lately, I’ve been really keen on healthy food and living. I’d love to explore this part of my life more, but time and resources are not helping me. I really believe I should be doing more and I am frustrated with the blockages. Thailand really spoke clearly to me about this and I am trying to clear those chakras and make some changes so I can do what I was born to do.
Apart from these lessons Thailand is trying to help me learn, I did have a fantastic time with my family. I adore spending time with the girls. They are so sweet and beautiful and rock my world. One thing I know for sure, I still want to travel with them and show them more of the world.
Listen to my latest podcast to hear tips on what to do when things go wrong?
Do you have a special place that tends to teach you important lessons and steers your directions?