The titile of this post may sound steeped in alcoholic tones, but really I am just a pregnant mother who has had quite a stressful and demanding couple of months.
I am longing for a drink. I don’t really mean just one glass of wine, which I occasionally have now, nor do I mean a whole night’s session where I wake up the next morning in a clouded fog filled with regrets.
Maybe just a several glasses of wine, or even a bottle.
Or a glass of Bailey’s on ice.
Even though, I rarely drink it, my eyes lingered over the Bailey’s bottle as I tailed Craig today while he made his selection of beer for the evening. I get the privilege now of watching him drink my favourite winter brew- Guinness.
To be honest, I don’t even think it is the actual drink that I crave.
It is more the freedom.
The freedom to know that at any time if I feel like having a drink, I can just pick up a bottle of whatever I like and have as much as I like.
Being pregnant with Kalyra taught me that I really could give up alcohol, and for something as beautiful as bringing a child into the world, I can do it easily.
But, I don’t really want to.
I enjoy a drink. I don’t desperately hang out for one all the time and I can’t always be found with a drink in my hand.
I enjoy more the experience that comes with the drink
The dinner with friends, the wild conversations, the laughter, the god-awful attempts at imitating your favourite rock stars as you look like a frog desperately trying to get out of a sock with your pathetic dance moves.
The beer that goes so well with a live sporting match, or by the toasty fire, the cocktail as you are swinging in your hammock on a beach watching the sun go down.
The glass of wine that helps calm your nerves after a stressful day at work, or if it is that bad, a strong Jack Daniels on ice.
Sure I can have all of that without the alcohol. But, it’s just not the same.
When you’re pregnant you have this but at the expense of watching everyone else doing all the above mentioned things and you feeling slightly like you exist on some weird parallel universe.
I think this longing for drink shows I am ready to move to the next stage of my life. I am ready to let go of the pregnancy, move into being a mother again, and reclaim my freedom.
I will enjoy that equisite taste with a glass of the finest red wine.