Don’t Torture Yourself

Sometimes the fear of offending others with what I write on my blog stops me from writing my thoughts. I know that people take what I write personally; I’ve had to listen to their comments on it.

don't torture yourself

Photo: *TreMichLan*

And they shouldn’t take it personally.

What I write are my views and opinions based upon what I’ve experienced, what works best for my life and my views on it.

We are not all alike, we occupy different spaces, we come from different backgrounds and with that we think differently. You are not always going to think like everyone else which is wonderful.  One thing travel taught me is that we can all think and act differently yet respect each other at the same time.

I don’t write to offend or attack merely to express my thoughts and views in the hopes that it will help others who may be struggling with issues and need a different perspective to open their thinking in a new way, or to those who think the same way and like a place to go where they feel embraced for thinking the same way.

If your thoughts and opinions are different to mine than that is great. As long as you are living your life in a way that makes you happy and works best for you, then who cares. My opinions are not right or wrong they just work for me, and same goes for you.

If you find yourself getting irritated by what I write and feeling like I’m personally attacking you or writing about you, then first of all understand I am not. There is no one who is the centre of my universe like that. My ideas come from everyday living and not about anyone in particular.

Evaluate why you are feeling personally attacked. It could be one of a couple of things

1.Insecurity and Resistance to Change

You may be insecure. I know that doesn’t sound great, but I just want to speak honestly so the real problem can rise to the surface and be dealt with.

I may have hit a raw nerve with you in the way that allowed you to recognize something within yourself you need to change but are resistant to doing so.

We usually react in these ways when this resistance to change rears its ugly head. You should never have to feel like you have to defend your position unless it is something you are insecure about or scared to let go of.

The easiest way to overcome it is to acknowledge the feeling, ask yourself why you might be feeling this way, embrace it and then work on making any change that needs to be made.

Don’t fear it, don’t ignore it, and don’t get angry about it, just change it. It takes time but it starts with a single step.

2. Masochistic Behaviour

You really do think in the opposite way to me and you just hate my opinion. Fair enough, you are allowed to.

But, what are you doing torturing yourself by hanging out with me and reading my work? It’s classic masochistic behaviour. Doing what you know is going to anger you just to prove a point or be self-righteous.

Let it go. It is not worth it; I am not worth it.

Of course, I’m trying to get lots of new readers and I’m not kicking you out of here. I embrace all readers from different opinions and thoughts.

But I do not encourage, nor welcome, those who hang around just to get pissed off and feel violated.

This is not bringing me positive energy, which I want this place to be about, but most of all it is unhealthy for you.

Control your Life and Thoughts

You have control over your life and thoughts; don’t hang around in places with people who make you mad. We can’t all agree or like each other, let’s get real about that. We can disagree through healthy discourse but if it ruins your day then leave and don’t return.

I spoke of a man in my gratitude is too touch feely post who pisses me off and the group he created. It’s full of snipy, bitchy, negative conversations.

I had to make a choice, stay in there and get pissed off, or remove that from my life by leaving the group and never returning. I knew I could not change anyone, their thoughts or choices, but I could change mine.

I choose peace and sanity.

Craig often pops back in there from time to time and will mention another dickhead comment in there.

“Why do you keep going in there for? Stay out. I don’t want anything to do with them. It just pisses me off.”

He goes in to learn the odd helpful tip that comes through, but I’d rather go learn it in a more positive environment. I don’t welcome anger into my life.

Dance, not Fight

As Dave Grohl recently did at a Foo fighters concert when a fight broke out, he stopped playing, singled the man out and told him,

“Get the fuck out of here. We don’t fight at my concerts. We come here to fucking dance. Now leave.”

I’m saying the same. I welcome opinions here (differing or not) but I don’t welcome tension, negativity or people feeling pissed off and transferring that energy to me. So I do ask you, if I upset you that much, to please just leave my blog and offer your support to those places that are going to make you feel good.

All I want for you is to feel good.

Your Turn to Share Tips:

Would love to hear your thoughts on this topic in the comments below.

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