If You Don’t Laugh You Cry

by Caz Makepeace on April 27, 2011

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I’m lying on the couch with a cushion over my head, trying to shut the world out, count to 10 and reduce the urge to throw everything in my vicinity out the window.

This was meant to be a relaxing holiday away, a time when dreams were going to be made. I was going to the Bluesfest, interviewing my music idols, hanging out on the Gold Coast and taking Kalyra to Dreamworld.

April was the month of things going right for us. And then wham! Just when you want to hope and smile again, life comes and King hits you one back down to size.

It all started with Kalyra deciding this was the month she was going to kick into foot stomping, tantrum throwing, demanding toddler age and left me scratching my head as to where my sweet, demure child had disappeared to.

Craig and I don’t believe in pandering to our child’s demands, instead that sometimes time out and discipline is needed to help her understand what is appropriate behaviour or not. Well this lead to issues in other areas in our life, which I prefer not to get into right now, except it sent my positive and happy mood plummeting to the depths of extreme annoyance and frustration.

Time to laugh instead

Packed on top of this came extremely challenging internet and computer issues. Craig’s computer is on the way out and Australia would have to be one of the worst countries in the world for internet connection. It is embarrassing, and way worse than what you experience in Asia, or dare I say, Africa.

For a country as rich and First World as ours this is a disgrace. I can’t say anymore about it as my blood pressure will rise. But, it is almost impossible to run an online business in Australia. I’m looking for a new international abode and opportunity.

Of course, those unresolved issues and Kalrya’s foot stomping followed us up to the Gold Coast. Nevertheless this vibrant, sunshine state has done wonders for my state of mind. I crossed the border and instantly felt peace and calm. Queensland just does that to you. I really want to stay here and do not want to return back from where I came. How I can accomplish this now becomes my question.

We really had an inspiring and wonderful time at the Bluesfest. But I was really disappointed and a little miffed, that upon arrival we were told it would be highly unlikely that we would receive a personal interview with the musicians. This was by the same publicist who asked us to send in our interview request forms weeks prior to the event. If they knew this was the case, why not tell us to begin with? I spent hours of time, which could have been put into my blogs, in preparing for the interviews, not to mention the mental preparation that went into it and all the help I asked for from my friends.

But, alas Michael Franti still grabbed my hand in the crowd during his live performance, and I was able to listen to Ben Harper’s private warm up routine and we had a fabulous time. On the first night, we returned back to our holiday apartment late, and I awoke two hours later running straight for the toilet bowl where I remained for the next 5 hours suffering from the effects of food poisoning.  Kind of put a dampner on our free day exploring the Gold Coast beaches the next day.

It’s been days since I have written a post, and I am way way behind in my work. I’m watching my stats slide and my community flounder because of it and it kills me because there is little I can do. Any spare time I get on the computer is met with me spending 5 minutes to load a webpage and somehow try to fix a site that has screwed up, find a web designer who has gone MIA so they can fix it, attempt to and then just plain forget about uploading a photo, and try to fix a computer whose keys suddenly stop working and is on the way to the grave.

Dreamworld wasn’t as dreamy as I hoped and filled me with a  little too much stress. The foot stomping returned and I was just too tired and wired to deal with it. Then on the way home, Kalyra woke up suddenly from her nap and threw up chocolate egg all over herself and me. The vomiting continues.

The internet continues to shut me out as I type this in a word document, hoping to transfer it later, Craig’s computer continues to die, and my work continues to pile up. In two days time I’m faced with having to return back to the town I’m living in (I refuse to call it home) with no idea of where to go or what to do next. I just know I need to do something different.

I am open to the Universe sending any opportunity my way. Hell, I’d even go to Siberia right now.

Now I have written all this, I can remove the cushion off my head and laugh. It really isn’t all that bad. I mean I could be starving on the streets in a third world country, or have no arms and legs due to the effects of Agent Orange.

And what’s more important is that my baby is not well, and needs her Mummy to help her feel better.

Let’s put it down to just one of those months. Life has them. Tomorrow is a new day.

If you don’t laugh, you cry, and crying just gets me nowhere.