You’re in the zone. You’re rocking your business, checking off those goals that satisfy you and serving in a way that suits your divine message and soul. Things couldn’t be better. But, then you look left and right and notice what others doing.
Crap. They’re so much better than you. They’re sharp shooting wordsmiths radiating a spirit on par with Aphrodite. They’ve also got more clients, followers, and worshipping fans.
And they’re raking in the big dollars.
Shit, you’ll never compete. Might as well throw in the towel.
You know it. You’ve been there. We all have. The dreaded comparititus disease. We inherited this the moment we walked through the school gates. Or was it embedded into our spirit with our parent’s conversations in the playground sand pit?
“You mean Jimmy isn’t walking yet. Oh dear, my Ashley started at 9 months old.”
Businesses amplify comparititus
Having your own business will amplify comparititus and it will sideline you if you don’t learn to manage it.
I felt the creep of this dreaded disease when Marie Forleo’s B-School free training series launched this week. I know what it feels to be at a place where your soul yearns for you to do more, but you just can’t seem to make it work. And then I know what it feels like to actually live that life of yearning. So I’m super keen to help people reach that bliss through the mentoring group I’m opening. I was happy with my offering and excited to share it and stoked by the initial response from my community.
But then, I looked left and right: Danielle LaPorte, Kris Karr, Jess Ainscough, Kate Northrup. How the hell was I going to compete? I’m never going to get anyone to believe in me enough to join my tribe. There are just too many soul-spirited people better than me.
Thank god for my Money Project because it has my watcher working overtime to pull me up to face the truth:
I can never compete with anyone else, because I don’t have to. I have a unique purpose and tribe to serve.
What to do when comparititus hits?
It’s great to be aware of these sabotaging beliefs, but what do we do once they arrive?
Here’s the process that unwound for me:
I closed my eyes and found the emotion in my body. Hello there friend. Who are you? Why are you here?
I watched and saw it was insecurity and the worry that I would once again receive verification that I was not worthy enough.
I sat and spoke. I don’t want to feel jealous and insecure. I just want to do my best. How can I remove this competitive spirit that cripples me?
The following visualization unfolded.
A visualization to turn comparititus into fuel for a rock concert
When we were living in Dublin, Craig and I attended the Robbie Williams concert in Phoenix Park. Before that, the only person allowed to hold a public gathering there was the Pope. (Before that concert I didn’t like Robbie Williams much, I walked out a raving fan.)
100,000 people attended the concert. I jumped on Craig’s shoulders to take a peak and the mass of heaving sweating bodies blew my mind. Robbie sat at the edge of the stage swinging his legs and giggling like a little boy, the rapture at all these people dancing to his beat was blowing his mind too.
My visualization took me back there.
As far and as wide as I could see were bodies dancing to pumping tunes. But, this time there was not just one Robbie Williams, there were hundreds of leaders sending out the love vibes of their own music.
I was standing on a podium, and in front of me were a mass of people, not millions, but my own tribe, taking up the space that only my music could reach -total Anthony Kiedis rock magic.
I looked left, and there was Kris Carr, hands in the air swaying to trance, and in front of her was the exact amount of people that could fill their tribal space.
To the right was Kate Northrup singing about dead dogs and whiskey shots. Her tribal peeps where line dancing, thigh slapping and having a whale of a time.
My peeps had no interest in crossing over to the jazz crew behind us because their soul was all about rock, just like the trancers were all about hypnotic rhythms.
I gave my B-School compadres the hard core rock sign with a Bon Jovi style move and said, “Man you’re rocking out your groove. Everybody here is dancing the beat of their own drum and creating something to remember.”
The crowds were moshing and cripping and everyone was smiling and happy.
“Look at what we can achieve together, when we all work to our own special tribe and talents. This is sublime madness. Spread your fire and enjoy it; I’m ecstatic for you”
I gave them another rock on and got right back to serving my message and left them to theirs.
We’re all working to keep the ecosystem strong
I think Yossi Ginsberg says it best with this quote,
“No species is extinct in the rainforest. No species goes hungry.
It is an ecosystem, interconnected and interdependent.
There is no sense of separation. There is no competition, but rather cooperation.
The greater good harmonizes all.
Competition is based on the illusion of scarce resources: There is not enough, it better be all mine. Resources are not scarce.
There is unlimited abundance for all.
Cooperation makes much better sense. Each species brings its own special quality and owns it. Your uniqueness is not a weakness, but a strength. No one can compete with you or be better than you. Express what is unique about you, after all this is why you are here.
It’s the best strategy for thriving and keeping the ecosystem strong.”
It’s not how we are better or worse than others, it’s about the uniqueness only we can serve. If we take our eye off our tribe, no one gets served and the party fizzles out.
Your tribe will come to you because they are most in tune with your message and how you deliver it. Allow those who deliver the same message in a different tone and style to rock out at that and celebrate it for them.
Together you are creating the biggest concert of all that has the foundation at its core of love, joy and contribution.
P.S Don’t forget to check out Marie’s video today. She’s sharing the 7 common excuses that hold you back! You want to know one of mine? I’m a crap writer and I can never compete with Lonely Planet! Now my travel blog articles are regularly syndicated by National Geographic Online!
How do you mosh out that comparititus?