I started to write a post on y travel blog the other day about regret, the pain of my past and how some stupid decisions caused me to lose everything I owned.
A little thought whispered in my mind, “Maybe they’ll understand now just what a traumatic experience that was for us.”
I’m not sure if I know who they are, but it was obvious that they had bothered me by their inability to remove themselves from the centre of my mistakes. Sometimes they are the people laying wait in the shadows, waiting for others to mess up so they can talk about it in their little circles and make themselves feel better.
“Did you hear what they did? What idiots….. I can’t believe it… They threw it all away … they should have listened to us.. I would never be so stupid…”
Yada. Yada. Yada.
I know about the gossip. It would have bothered me years ago, but now I hold my head high.
Because now I’m turning my failures into lessons and eventual victories so that one day I can say ,“Look at me now. If I hadn’t made those disastrous choices then perhaps now I would not be spending my days doing what I love.”
Our mistakes make us stronger, so if we never go through them then we can never grow into who we were meant to be.
It’s easy to sit in your zone of comfort and talk about the failures of others, those who dared to take a risk, but does this mean that because you didn’t lose or fail you won? Or that you are fulfilled and happy?
Does not making mistakes mean you have perfected your life?
Does not making mistakes, because of complacency, mean that you have the right to gossip about others?
A friend recently went through a similar financial crisis which caused her a lot of heartache and stress.
She expressed her concerns to me about others finding out, because she knew what they would be sitting around and saying.
It broke my heart. I knew it was true. And some of these we call friends. I knew what my friend was going through and I wanted to give a big fuck you to anyone who gave her shit about it. How could they when her heart was breaking?
It’s tragic to think that we sit around and talk of others and their sufferings like its nothing – something to laugh and be smug about.
I’m happy to wear the stupid failure badge. The real power arrives when you accept and take responsibility for your almighty fuck ups!
Now I know what to do next time.
I know how to make things better.
I know how to have compassion. I know that I never want anyone to EVER go through what I did and if they do you can be sure as hell I won’t be sitting around in groups gossiping about it to make myself feel better. I’ll be offering them a shoulder and some cuddle arms to make them feel better.
You never know the pain that lies behind others’ stupid mistakes and choices.
You never have any right to judge or criticize them, unless of course you are perfect.
And I think somehow we have all missed the boat on that one.