I watched the movie The Descendants on the plane to LA. I laughed, I cried, I was moved.
I thought of my relationship with my daughters. I prayed I would leave them before they left me. I could never recover if it was any other way.
I hope that me dying does not happen for many many years to come and not until the moment when they can handle it.
I hope that when it happens they are sad, not because I want them to miss me or be devastated by my death, but because it means that we’ve formed a really close bond and I’ve made a deep impact on their lives.
I want to leave knowing that I have been a good mother. That I have somehow taught them to be fearless, to be brave, to be loving, to be kind, to be happy, and to most of all, follow their dreams.
Then I’ll know I can pass by peacefully and they’ll be okay.
One day when they have their own babies, they’ll understand what unconditional love is. They’ll understand there is nothing greater, or more powerful than a mothers’ love.
They’ll look at me, like I did with my mum and say “I get it. “
I get the sacrifices; I understand why you were okay with the fact that for a time in my life thought you were a thorn in my side.
I get it.
I know that there will come a time when my daughters hate me, when they’ll be angry with me, and when Ill hurt them. I’m okay with that because I love them unconditionally. I’ll take the punches, I’ll walk across broken glass for them, I’d beat down a bear and jump on a croc’s back to protect them.
I want them to know that when I go, I go with such joy because they chose me to be their mother and they made my life so complete.