Learning to Ask For and Receive Help
I’m not the type of person who likes to ask for help. I never have been.
When I was young, I used to love doing jigsaw puzzles. I would sit there for hours and days patiently putting the pieces of the puzzle together. I loved the satisfaction of knowing that I had achieved it all on my own.
It had to be on my own.
If someone came along and put one piece of that puzzle in, I would pack the whole thing up and start again. Even if I was only ten pieces away from finishing a thousand piece puzzle.
I see this characteristic in Kalyra, and while I know this has its very positive advantages it can also have very negative ones.
I try to advise her, “It’s okay to let people help you know. Sometimes they may be able to do the things you are struggling with.”
Really, it should be me listening to my own advice.
I’m terrible at asking for help, and I am terrible at accepting help. I still want to know that I can do it all myself.
receiving help
My mum loves telling the story of when I was eighteen months old. She had three children under four so getting us dressed to go out was a bit of a nightmare for her.
One day she had everyone dressed and ready to walk out the door to catch the bus. I had disappeared. In a panic she frantically looked around the house for me.
I walked out of my bedroom in a totally different outfit exclaiming “I do it myself”
This is a good way to be, but it can also be a really bad way to be too.
I’m grateful lately that people have just been helping me without asking. Otherwise I would just say no.
I can’t do it all myself. I am learning to let go more and let others help me.
I’m learning that this does not mean I am failure or that I can’t do it. It just means that I can’t do and be everything.
Sometimes allowing others to help is also giving them a gift, letting them know that you trust them and you appreciate what they can do for you.
But, I still wouldn’t go touching those puzzle pieces of mine.
Are you good at asking for and receiving help?
Comments
Lisa Wood
Sorry – but I am not good at asking for help!! I usually try to do to much at once!! And then fall over with a lack of sleep 🙂
Its so good to know that you can have help, and that you are aware that you cant be doing it all alone!!!
Cheers
Lisa
Caz
Sleep tends to be the trade off for not asking for help! I long for the days when I can sleep again
Veronica @ Mixed Gems
I struggle with this too at times. Maybe it’s. By-product of being the oldest child. My mum’s like me, or rather I’m like her in this regard. The things kids “inherit” from their parents……!
Caz
i know it is scary when you start to see just how much like your parents you are
Lina@MothersLoveLetters
Hi Caz
I didn’t even see this when I wrote my latest love letter about How To Ask For Support.
There we are, being on the same wavelength again…
I’m here to help you, Caz! Even if you don’t ask!
Learning to delegate is all about learning to let go.
Some things you just have to delegate. And let go.
Caz
Thank you Lina. Letting go is really hard, but I think I am getting much better at it. It’s something that is so important to do as you can’t be and do everything.
We’re always on the same wavelength- its really cool