Mojo Magic Tips: Learn to say no and liberate yourself
Last week I shared with you how important it is to say yes. For this week’s mojo magic tips I’m going to flip that over, you also have to learn how to say no.
Discovering the line between the yes and no is the key to tapping into the magic.
Saying yes to your dream and every step that leads to the attainment of that dream is where the mojo lies.
Unfortunately it takes a bit of culling of the crap to get to those yesses.
You see the more you say yes to things that don’t serve you the more your life becomes cluttered and the real things you should be paying attention to can’t find their way in.
Most of the time we say yes to things we shouldn’t because of fear and guilt.
We’re afraid we are going to miss out on something or we don’t want to let someone else down.
You can’t be everything to everyone and learn to accept that it is okay to miss out on things.
In fact, it is great if the things you are missing out on aren’t really going to help you move forward.
This month I have been really practising how to say no. It’s amazing how liberated and relieved you feel when you say no to the things you really don’t want to do.
Since we started our blog two and a half years ago- when I said yes to the dream- I have been pretty much saying yes to everything.
And that has served me very well. It has helped me build our brand and develop key relationships.
But, the magic in my life was stalling because I could no longer manage all the yesses.
It was time to peel it all back and start saying no.
I said no to more guest posts on my site. It was blocking up my time and schedule and I wasn’t always getting submissions that I really wanted. So now I ask people I know to give me guests posts that I need on a certain topic.
I said no to certain press trips and events that did not suit my interests. I’m going to become even stricter with those nos. I don’t get paid for them and they are a huge drain on my resources.
The nos are coming forth for those who want me to work for them with no return for me. I NO longer work for free. (You can however hire my content and expertise)
It’s amazing how liberated you feel when you start turning way the things that don’t serve you. Guilt and fear begins to leave your life.
You replace the guilt and fear with the really important things that you enjoy.
Those things that help you get the dream you originally said yes to.
Here are questions to ask yourself now when deciding whether to say yes or no:
1. Will this help me move forward to attaining my dream?
2. How does saying yes to this make me feel? How does saying no make me feel?
3. What will saying no mean I miss out on? Can I live with that?
What are you saying no to in your life and how is it liberating you?
Comments
Johanna
Great tips and So true … you have to sift through a lot of earth to find the gold nuggets, which means saying no to lots along the way. When I say no, I torment myself with regret and ‘what ifs’ … until the next Big Decision, but generally manage to keep on an even keel balancing the ‘no’s’ with ‘yes’s’.
Caz Makepeace
Yes. I think keep balancing. You’ll soon find the groove and will gain the confidence. I heard a good quote by Richard Branson yesterday, “Opportunities are like buses. There is always another one coming.”
The nos help us get on the right bus, and we’ll never really miss it anyway as another will come that is bigger and better.
Kathy
Hey Caz – good on you. I think you have articulated the best way to be – saying yes to what matters and saying NO to what (or who) doesn’t, which is really saying YES to what does (it is amazing how it takes so long to realise this sometimes). I understand the theory….the practice?!? I hope to share your YES journey with you in the future….cheers..kathy
Caz Makepeace
I find myself each week saying no more as I learn to trust that I know what the yesses should be.
It could be an age thing too, well the wisdom really.
There’s still a couple of things in my life I am trying to find the confidence to say no to and let go of the fear that I’ll miss out or make the wrong decision