{"id":924,"date":"2011-05-02T11:52:25","date_gmt":"2011-05-02T11:52:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.mojitomother.com\/?p=924"},"modified":"2013-08-30T01:33:38","modified_gmt":"2013-08-29T15:33:38","slug":"dealing-with-depression-the-path-to-nowhere-and-somewhere","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.mojitomother.com\/2011\/05\/dealing-with-depression-the-path-to-nowhere-and-somewhere\/","title":{"rendered":"Dealing with Depression? The path to Nowhere and Somewhere"},"content":{"rendered":"
I never thought I would never feel this way again. Hollow. empty.<\/p>\n
The wind whips around me and I feel no emotion; almost as if the wind could blow right through me and I wouldn’t feel a thing, except maybe the cold chill that comes when you lose all hope<\/strong>. The very thing that keeps you steadfast in your inner peace.<\/p>\n When you have hope you have everything<\/strong>.<\/p>\n I can feel a tiny slimmer of it deseparate to break through the still blackness. But I’m too afraid to let it out now, due to years of throwing all my faith and hope into that thing<\/strong> that is bigger than me and only being disappointed.<\/p>\n What do you call that thing?… God.. the Universe… energy…me<\/em>?<\/p>\n I’ve given up trying to name it or understand it. I’ve given up trying to even believe in it. Most of the time it feels as if it’s here just to beat you down and remind you of how small you really are.<\/p>\n I never really wanted to believe that. I wanted to see it only full of love and support. The Genie in my bottle. Now that hope seems to be carried away by the wind and I’m left with an empty shell.<\/p>\n Sometimes I wonder if I am suffering from depresssion, that ghastly affliction that leads you to the covering of your pain with drugs, comfy couches or electric shocks. But, I know I am not depressed, just a little shaken.<\/p>\n