Self-love: A letter to my daughters

by Caz Makepeace on February 13, 2013

7

When you were babies, old enough to peer into the mirror and recognize who was staring back, you’d raise your eyebrows, and giggle with a flirtatious air. I swear I saw you wink a few times.

Even before you knew who the angel in the mirror was, you’d stare at your hands with fascination and awe. The first time you conquered something new, you’d clap with sheer delight at how clever you were.

I would clap along with you.

That infectious love and wonder you had for you was given with cuddles and kisses and giggles to whoever passed by you, mostly to those you knew well, but quite often to strangers.

You weren’t afraid. You were a fearless explorer, sharing your light with every step.

I’m writing this letter now when you are 5 and 1, but with the vision in my heart of you both as young women.

The beautiful, strong, independent women I know you were born to be.

I saw it at your birth.

I saw it Kalyra, when you told me to step back and let you go and ask for your orange juice yourself. I saw it Savannah, when you ran to me after your first day of child care and showed me your new friends and the toys you played with. I was happy that you didn’t miss me.

Savannah joy

She’s sassy

Beautiful, strong and independent.

This has always been my sincerest wish for you.

I’ve let you fall over and over again, hovering in the background, wanting to run to scoop you up and make it all better.

But, I held back. I wanted you to do it yourself.

I wanted you to discover your own power, that everything you ever need is within YOU.

I worried you would think I did not love you enough, so I tried to overcompensate in the quiet moments: elation on my face when you first walked into a room, fierce random cuddles of love, broad grins and happy dances just for the fun of it, and gentle strokes of your hair as you lay sleeping.

Precious

My heart bursting with love for you.

I worried about what life might do to you: the people you meet, the challenges you go through, the losses, failures and heartbreaks.

I worried what that might do to your self-love.

Because without it, you can never live out your potential, you can’t give completely to another soul, and you can’t live a life of deep fulfilment.

Without self-love all you see is bleakness and enemies, when really what is there are multitudes of angels to guide you into the light of who you truly are:

An angel, a person who changes lives and leaves an impact, and a glowing rainbow of happiness.

This is all I want you to be, because I know it’s all you are.

I birthed you; no one knows this to be truer than me.

Angel Savannah

Angel Kalyra

I could tell you some stories of my life. A life that for many years was filled with pain, hatred, lack and unfulfillment. There are many excuses I could make for it being so, but really there is only one reason. I hated myself.  Ugh, can you believe how silly your mother could be?

It was the biggest mistake of my life. When I think back, I try not to hang my head in shame– shame that I did not honour my spirit. Our spirit comes from a place of pureness; it is not our right to disrespect it or hate it.

All you really need to know though, is how I turned it around. With the help of angels (some unseen, some disguised as real people), I found the right path again, BUT it was because of ME I was able to continue walking forward and create magic.

I discovered how strong I was.

Deep within I found a courageous woman, who loved deeply and lived passionately. That woman changed her life and it was all because of self-love. It was because she acknowledged who she truly was at her core and realized she did not need to be afraid of it. She also learned to not care if others did not feel the same way. Their opinion of her was none of her business, her business was loving herself.

I hope by this age in your life, you do not need me, or anyone else, to tell you how magnificent you are. I hope you have discovered your own perfection.

I hope you have learned that part of this perfection means stuffing up over and over again.

I hope you know that this is okay. This is how we learn; it does not mean you are less than or incapable, it just means you are on the right track. You are learning all you need to know in order to grow.

I hope you know that having self-love does not mean your life will be perfect and every day full of happiness. It can’t. Your spirit is here having a human experience, and this means moments of pain, inter-dispersed between the happiness. You don’t have to fear the pain or run from it, just go into it.

Just like you did when you were a baby. You’d hurt yourself and howl like a wolf caught in a trap. Five minutes later, after it was all screamed out, you’d smile again. Oh my, how clever you are. You’ve known since you were born that emotions come and go and it is our job to feel them and then let them pass.

I want you to understand you are powerful beyond measure, and when you understand that concept, you never have to spend your days searching for that power elsewhere: in drugs, alcohol, bad habits, and by stealing it from others.

Empowered people have self-love. Empowered people can steer the direction of their life no matter the bumps. Empowered people love deeply, live passionately, and give to others. It’s easy for them to give because they have an overflowing pool of self-love to share.

My beautiful, beautiful daughters, I could not imagine you ever spending a day where you did not love yourself. The thought shatters my own heart. How could you? Your pool of love is deep and wide and your light shines so so brightly.

From the moment you were both born, you taught me to be more self-loving. You taught me to wink more in the mirror, to clap my hands when I do something right, to get up and try again when I get it wrong, and to run to others with laughter and love.

Honour your spirit. Every. single. day

Feed it with dreams. Feed it with good health. Feed it with peace and good intentions.

When you honour yourself, it is so much easier to honour others and to have life honour you back.

My love for you can never match, nor be as important, as the love you have for yourself. I promise from this day forward, I will do a better job of loving myself so I can show you just how easy it is and how beautiful your life can be because of it.

Know that I did not give birth to you for me. I gave birth to you for you. So you can honour your life and be that angel you have always been.

Peace, health, and self-love,

Your Mum

xxx

Thank you to Kirri White how inspired this post for International Self-love Day!